Sunday, December 03, 2006

Blogs Are the Cockroaches of the Internet

There are two reasons blogs are the cockroaches of the internet:

1) You can set up a blog faster than you can brush your teeth
2) Once your blog is set up, it will probably hang around polluting the internet long after its owner has lost interest in it.

In this way blogs choke the fluid flow of important data or pornography that is crucial to keeping our Great Market afloat.

I do not want this blog to stay around beyond its useful life, so I've devised a scheme to make sure it erases itself after I forget my password. The scheme is this: I will include some pornographic photos in these posts, so that when I forget my password and the year 2095 rolls around, the Republocrats will detect pornography in this sector and have every server in the vicinity obliterated with lasers.

Unfortunately, I don't have time to search for pornography right now, so I will merely use placeholders for the photos that I will find at a later date. I have plenty of time before the year 2095 to collect said photos.

I have thought of another acceptable use of the blog, which is this:

1) It is acceptable to incorporate a blog into a larger website, very specifically using the blog to chronicle events of a time-sensitive nature within the larger theme of the website.

That is an entirely redundant point, very similar to a point I made earlier that would logically incorporate the notion that themes are not only important for blogs, but for websites also. Another mistake sitting right there that I'm looking at but I won't change because this is only a blog so it's not worth editing, is that I started a numbered list, but didn't get beyond the number 1, which brings me to my following points:

2) The first item in a numbered list should be labeled 1).
3) The second item in a numbered list should be labeled 2).
4) The 4th point I must clarify is that the third item in a numbered list should be labeled 3).
5) Etc.

[Photo: A man has apparently dropped an ice cream cone inside a woman's vagina and desperately wants to get at it before it melts.]

1 comment:

Sara said...

I have an abandoned blog. The host won't let me access it without using the e-mail account I had when I set it up, and I no longer have that e-mail account. I apologize for the litter I have left on the side of the information highway, and hope it doesn't attract raccoons.